For some reason we are lead to believe that when we have a whole lot of ‘stuff’ in our homes, and we wear certain clothes, and we have certain products, and we drive certain cars, and we go on certain holidays, and we are ‘seen’ hanging out with certain people in certain places wearing certain stuff, then we will be happy.

Over the years I’ve had a few realisations and wake up calls that have lead me to believe that this is not true.

In fact, if we think it is true, and that’s what we focus on and pursue, we will probably end up being UNHAPPY.

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Let’s talk about stuff.

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It’s been interesting going through my latest decluttering phase. It is so freeing to get rid of stuff that I don’t use and don’t love. I feel lighter and I feel have created a space in my life for other things (not stuff) to flow into.

And heaven forbid, if I was to die tomorrow, it’s going to be easy for those clearing out my apartment. 

When Mike and I left our 4-bedroom house in Sydney, we gave away two thirds of our stuff and it felt fabulous and freeing to do so. What were we thinking acquiring all that stuff in the first place?

From my two major stuff experience, I’ve concluded that less stuff gives you space (and time) for a more awesome, happier, life. Less is more!

How is that for a contrary view? Those selling stuff won’t like it.

And for those friends who judge me by my stuff, the less is more principle applies there too!

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Let’s talk about holidays.

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Mike and I went on lots of holidays of all shapes, sizes, prices and star levels. When I look back on our holidays, there was very little correlation between the amount of money we spent and the amount of awesome happy moments we had.

And the most fun holiday I’ve been on lately was my trip to Vietnam. The ‘funnest’ accommodation was on the train, where I shared a compartment with three others, and the home-stay where the toilet and cold shower were outside. Definitely not five stars as far as accommodation goes, but five stars as far as fun and awesome life moments go. And the most awesome life food experience in Vietnam involved sitting on a stool on the street eating street food. The ‘restaurant’ was probably, by official ratings, a one star or less. By awesome life moment ratings it was a six star.

My point here is that the price, and ‘stars’, of a holiday bears very little relationship to the number of awesome life moments you’ll have on that holiday.

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Now let’s talk about what happens when crap happens.

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(Apologies if I offend anyone for using this word ‘crap’ but it really does explain the situation.)

I’ll never forget that when Mike was dying he was still cracking jokes. Imagine it, making jokes when you are dying. Making jokes at such a serious, terrible time. And I laughed even.

I’ve thought about this a lot. Mike was dying and yet he was still determined to have as many happy moments as he could.

Mike helped me realise that no matter what is going on in my life that is crappy (and I’ve had a lot of truly crappy times since Mike passed), I can still have a lot of happy moments. I can still have an overall happy life.

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I’ve learned that happy moments are hidden in plain sight. They are everywhere, everyday. They are patiently waiting for me to see and experience them.

And when I find one, I’ll often find another and another. And the more happy moments I can string together in a day, the more of my day will be happy.

And if I think about my most priceless possessions, they are the memories of all my happy moments  – most of which were free.

And a lot of my priceless happy moments happened at very un-happy times.

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