What am I really committed to?  Really?

When I was married to Mike, I would have always said I was committed to him.  I would always have said Mike was the most important person in my life and my number one priority.

But prior to 2008, an “observer” would not have concluded that by looking at where I spent my time and at some of the choices I made.

An ”observer” would have said my number one commitment and priority was my career and Mike was a distant second.  And an observer would have said that the theme for my life was work.

Firstly, I spent most of my waking hours working.

But it was more than that.  I went way past what was required for my job.  Way past to the point probably of being ineffective. Also, I frequently chose work commitments over Mike.  Even when Mike really needed me.

How did I end up like that?

How did I end up with such a BIG disconnect between what I thought was important to me and what the “Observer” would have said was important to me? How did I end up with such a BIG disconnect on my priorities?

It wasn’t like I woke up one day and said “I’m going to put work in front of Mike.”

It just happened to me.  It crept up on me bit by bit.  I can now see my work had become habitual and addictive.  Also, it was if I was trying to prove something with my work to the detriment of my relationship with the most important person in my life.

I can liken it to Social Media.  You do a little bit here and there, and before you know it hours can go by and you are ‘sucked in.’  There is not a moment in time that you can point to when you know you became addicted.  It just happened over time.

So, that was me prior to 2008: a work addict according to the observer.

Roll forward to 2010 and what would the observer have concluded by looking at where I spent my time and how I made my decisions?

In 2010 we were now living in sunny Queensland and I had walked away from my Corporate life.

The observer would have now said Tessa is committed to:

Mike first – absolutely.

Her family, friends, having fun, making a difference, their business.

And as far as the theme for Tessa’s life, the observer would have said:  the love of Mike and life.

Writing this puts a HUGE smile on my face.
What a HUGE difference to prior to 2008.

Roll forward now and it’s several years since Mike passed.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m starting with a blank slate.

I’m now in the process of consciously and intentionally deciding what I am committed to and up to in life.

No more letting it happen to me by default.  No more letting outside forces and influences decide my commitments and priorities.

And my commitments, and priorities,  will be around the theme for my life: helping people be as happy as they can be …… no matter what significant events have happened to them.

Soon what the “observer’ will say I am committed to, and what I say I am committed to,  will be the SAME.

And I’ll be playing life full out!

I’m excited.

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